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Leaving is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I've been staring at the forest wall for a number of days now, and I am no closer to going through that dark wall of foliage than I was fifty years ago. I realize that she is out there waiting, at least I hope that's true, but I still cannot force the actions necessary for me to step through that veil of green. What do I do? How can I get over this reluctance to take that very first step? I'm not sure that I can force myself to leave. I want to desperately, with all my heart I do, but I cannot seem to force my body out of its supine position, force it to leave this cozy cocoon of life, or face the fact that I am stuck in neutral, drifting with the current of life. I must make myself free, I must take that step, if I am any kind of man at all, I will seize this opportunity to achieve my decades long dream of reuniting with Naomi. Otherwise I will be sifted like the chaff I am.