Page eleven

I'm out, I can't believe it, I'm really out. I don't feel any older, in fact what I feel is a sense of jubilation. I just picked up my small bag of valuables and momentos, walked right up to that huge green wall of trees, did not hesitate even a bit, strolled right straight through to the other side. At least, that's where I think I am. I looked behind me to see what I could see, and Shangri-la was gone. I even attempted to walk back through the line of trees, but nowhere could I see from whence I had come. I guess I'm stuck here, stuck on the other side. I don't feel any older, but I do feel a certain kind of growing older physicality. Hmm, wonder how long this will last? I turned my head towards a strange sound, is that quiet laughter coming from the trees? Better be on my way, lots to do, people to see, Naomi to find. With that thought, I grab my bag, shoulder it and begin my trek.

Page ten

Leaving is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I've been staring at the forest wall for a number of days now, and I am no closer to going through that dark wall of foliage than I was fifty years ago. I realize that she is out there waiting, at least I hope that's true, but I still cannot force the actions necessary for me to step through that veil of green. What do I do? How can I get over this reluctance to take that very first step? I'm not sure that I can force myself to leave. I want to desperately, with all my heart I do, but I cannot seem to force my body out of its supine position, force it to leave this cozy cocoon of life, or face the fact that I am stuck in neutral, drifting with the current of life. I must make myself free, I must take that step, if I am any kind of man at all, I will seize this opportunity to achieve my decades long dream of reuniting with Naomi. Otherwise I will be sifted like the chaff I am.

Page nine

I have decided to leave. My date of departure is tomorrow. I’m excited. I told Dan about it, he gave me a hug and told me good luck. He also said that he would miss me very much, but that it was a good decision. I agree with him. I’m pretty sure that a few of the more perceptive citizens of Shangri-la realize that something has happened, or is about to. I have had a lot more people lately smiling at me and talking to me in congenial terms. I imagine that it’s similar to when someone is preparing to go on vacation. Everyone else is happy for the person, while a little envious at the same time. I’m excited to get started.

Page eight

Have you ever felt like something exciting is waiting for you right around the corner? That’s the feeling I have lately, I even smiled today, my face cracking under the strain. I realized it was the first time I had smiled in a long time. The question I have is; if this is paradise, then why am I not happy? Why has it been so long since I have smiled? The realization that I am not entirely satisfied with my existence is nowhere near as devastating to my ego than the realization of the reason behind such dissatisfaction. The realization that I am not a whole person without Naomi by my side only took about 50 years to come to a head. I wonder if she feels the same way? Perhaps I am about to find out.
I’m putting my affairs in order, quietly giving to Dan my most precious Shangri-la mementos. He looks at me with those knowing eyes, understanding more than what he says. I will definitely miss him, his thoughts, ideas and the knowledge he extols. I have finished the memorial stone and have decided to take it with me, when I go. I haven’t worked up enough courage yet to initiate my journey. That’s how I think of it, a journey. A journey to find the one I love, to seek her out wherever she may be, and to live with her until the end of our days, together, as one. I hope she’ll have me. I hope she is still out there.

Page Seven

It’s not quite as easy as Dan makes it out to be. I really was stuck. I could not stay and I could not go. The not knowing made my life miserable. Did she still love me? Did she miss me, would she still be alive if I chose to leave Shangri-la in order to find her? What if I left Shangri-la and could not find her again, then I would be stuck in the outside world. At least here I was young and full of energy, still a beautiful individual. In the outside world I would just be one of billions of people, growing older every second of my life, until finally I died. It was not a scenario I wished to participate in. Even without Naomi, I was happier here than I ever would be in the outside world.
It would be nice to see her again. I can close my eyes and imagine her cheek on my cheek, her supple form pressed against me, her smooth-skinned arms wrapped around me in a loving embrace, her fragrance drifting past my nose in alluring wafts of air, her breath the breath of a goddess, her lips inviting and pink, luscious to the eye, her hair caressing her bare shoulders, begging to be run through with fingers and hands. Yes, I decided, it would definitely be nice to see her, and hold her, once more.
The sun is shining today, the air is crisp and clean, the beach surrounding Shangri-la Lake is a brilliant sandy white, the forest marking the edge of Shangri-la is dappled with sunlight that draws the eye to its many shades of green.

Page Six

I wander Shangri-la, listening to the chatter of others who are quite happy to be where they are. Each of these fine, young citizens has a cheerful countenance, smiling, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. I respond mechanically to their calls of friendship, but do not allow their invitations to join them in their merriment to deter me from my objective. I have spied Dan walking a path in the distance, and I quicken my pace to overtake him. “Dan, wait for me,” I call out as I draw nearer. He turns at the sound of my voice, stops and waits expectantly for my arrival. “Hi, how are you today?” His question is innocent enough, but the piercing look he gives me belies his concern.
“I, my friend, am fine!” I reply to him as I draw nearer. Reaching his side, I clasp his hand in a warm grip and draw him closer to me. Dan has been one of my best companions for centuries. His perspective on Shangri-la life is one that I treasure and listen to with an acute ear. He turns with me, and we both fall into a slow pace, ambling across the beautiful countryside. The comfortable silence is broken only by the quiet chirping of nesting baby birds in the tree branches overhead.
“I noticed you walking near the edge of the forest earlier, that can be alluring.” I did not know how to answer his words, so I said nothing. After a pause, he continued quietly “if you are going to go, you should decide to do so with enough time for you to find her.”
“I know, but I am stuck.”
“It is definitely a choice that is made with difficulty,” he murmured.
“I realize that,” I replied, “but I’m still stuck.”
“So, get unstuck.”
I looked at him as he looked at me, and we both smiled.

Page Five

She was an older woman, but she still had some fight left in her. Looking at herself in the drawing-room mirror, she turned slowly, eyeing her shape while drawing nearer to the reflection, tossing her hair in a coltish manner. She leaned into the glass, staring closely at her eyes, and the wrinkles underneath. Her face, though lined, still displayed the beauty for which she had once been known. She thought back to those days, reminiscing about loves won and loves lost. Her thoughts drifted back to Shangri-la, in particular the day she left, and the disappointment she felt on that day, upon learning that she would have to leave her true love behind. If only he had even a modicum of courage, her life would have been a lot different. Though, in retrospect, she had lived a full, complete and filling life.
Pushing off the mirror, she turned and walked slowly, but firmly down the hall towards the atrium. The atrium was her private garden that provided her a place to reflect on her life while keeping her hands busy creating tiny works of art. Her works of art were the plants she nurtured and cared for with love and devotion. Many of the plants seemed to preen as she approached, baring their flowers and leaves in adoration. She handled them all with love, choosing first one, then another on which to shower her care.

Page Four

I’m basically a chicken. I hate to admit it, but I am a real scaredy-cat when it comes to taking action. That could be why I love Shangri-la as much as I do. It is so lovely here; the flowers are forever in bloom, the sun always shines, people are always smiling, the ladies are beautiful…though none as beautiful as Naomi. It’s not like I don’t get any offers, the ladies really like me. I can’t remember the last time I said yes to any of them, but that’s not the point, the offers are the point. Don’t hold me to it, but if I recall correctly I had an offer from Victoria just last week, though it could have been last month…maybe even last year, come to think of it. Like I said before, it’s not the timing, it’s the fact that I have gotten the offers that counts.
I wonder what she is doing right now? I’m carving a little birch bark box for her, or whoever wants it. Creating an intricate work like a birch box is a time-consuming task that takes a lot of concentration. It’s accomplished by layering a very thin birch bark veneer onto a darker and thicker wood (I usually use cedar). Using a lighter wood against a darker wood creates a two-tone effect that is really quite beautiful. I’ve been practicing the art for over 200 years now, and I must say that many of my pieces find their way into some of the most elaborate Shangri-la caches. This is the third or fourth box I’ve made just for Naomi. I wonder if she thinks about me. The other day I walked to the edge of the forest. Something from within the trees there was beckoning me. As I drew closer, I felt a strong urge to run. I wanted to break through the foliage, discover what was beyond the world that was so familiar. I think Naomi was there, waiting for me. I reached the forest’s edge and stopped. I glanced over my shoulder but did not see anyone watching me. I started to lift my foot, but froze as I heard a whisper, don’t go. I looked around again, but still did not see anyone. I stood in that frozen state as moments passed me by. Slowly, I lowered my foot to the ground and turned back to Shangri-la. The sun did not shine quite as brightly as it had just moments before.

Page Three

Many of my fantasies focus on leaving Shangri-la. Would I leave like Naomi had, slipping away one cool evening without a trace, vanishing into the speckled forest surrounding our world? Or, would it be more like Wesley; a stalwart, brave and feckless individual, he who had announced his departure a full year before he actually left. I recall Wesley with a mixture of awe, admiration and concern, but secretly I thought he had painted himself into a box with few options left him but the open lid of the outside world. For the full year following his announcement he was constantly slapped on the back, given words of encouragement from every side, and was bought drinks on an almost daily basis. He was generally admired by most of Shangri-la’s populace. A few of the ladies even went further than admiration. In the end, he had a choice; leave immortality forever, or live in immortality forever infamously. He’s probably dead now. Most likely, so is Naomi. Perhaps that is why I have been so melancholy lately, moping around paradise as if it were not the heaven on earth that it is. I have, on occasion, noticed the odd looks directed at me, as well as the sometimes whispering with knowing nods in my direction. Could it be that my destiny lies elsewhere, outside of Shangri-la? I guess I’ll never know.

Page Two

I understand that in the ‘outside’ world people can live to be over 100 years old. I’ve been told that most of them die around 70-75 though. That would suck. I’m over 350 years old, in outside terms. Here in Shangri-la I’m only 25, of course.
I wonder if Naomi is still alive? I wonder if she thinks about me? I don’t see myself leaving here to find out, it’s too bad she can’t return. Once someone leaves Shangri-la, they never return. Some say that is because they can’t find the passageway. I don’t know how true that is, guess I’ll never find out.
I work hard at convincing myself Naomi will return some day. I frequently imagine the day when through the magical door she’ll appear, as lovely as my memories of her, her face radiating joy and beauty, her arms stretched wide in an invitational embrace. I miss her, and still I keep dreaming.

Page One

I wondered what it would be like to leave. Sometimes that’s all I ever thought about, obsessing over it like a dog with a ham bone, gnawing away at the last remnants of meat on a tired old haunch. I did not really want to leave, after all who would not wish to stay young forever? I did fantasize though, about the outside world. What would it be like to grow old, decrepit, sick and filled with wrinkles? I guess I would never know, especially since I really did not see myself ever leaving Shangri-la.

I never even fantasized about it until I met Naomi. Even her name radiated loveliness. Naomi, fair as a lass can be. Naomi, nymph of Shangri-la sea. Naomi, as lovely as a dew dropped blossom in a bed of newborn flowers. From first sight, I was smitten.

Shangri-la is such a small place. Everyone knows everyone else. All news in Shangri-la is happy news. Once a child reaches “standing” they no longer age. Everyone in Shangri-la achieves maturity at 25 years of age, the year of “standing”. All citizens maintain that age unless they die, or they leave Shangri-la. Relatively few citizens ever die. Very few individuals have ever left. The last one that I can recall was Naomi, and that was nearly 50 years ago. I still dream of her, and leaving. I don’t know what keeps me here, probably fear.